Count Your Blessings...

When I was younger and I would start to complain my Dad would always say, "count your blessings, name them one by one...you will see how much you have." Now that I am older I am overwhelmed by the intensity of the gifts that surround me...my heart feels as if it may explode with gratitude for all of the blessings I enjoy, that I don't necessarily deserve. 

Like my husband...my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my constant, my safe spot in this world. He is an amazing partner in life and an amazing father to our girls. My two daughters fill my life and heart with a joy unspeakable..they challenge me, grow me, and force me to slow down and realize this moment is fleeting. My home...small and humble, and at times cramped...but warm and inviting, sturdy and mine. My sister who constantly reminds me of God's creativity and sense of adventure--she makes me laugh and gets my incomplete sentences and my need for Starbucks. My brother, he's always good for a common sense talk that brings back to the atmosphere. My sweet friend, she's always good for a kick in the butt if needed and a glass of Sangria...and she doesn't mind it when I totally interrupt her mid-sentence, and understands that I am a tad bit moody. My life as a student...I am blessed beyond compare to wake up every morning and pursue the life God created me to live...I am constantly challenged and encouraged by those in academics who have pushed me to grow and exceed my own expectations, for this my heart is humbled. My list goes on and on...family and friends, opportunities and challenges alike...

My life is filled with people who love me, who look at me and see the best in me. I am humbled at the overwhelming gifts in my life...the amazing people who allow me to sit front row in their life, who allow me to play a role in their story...each of you are the greatest gifts...

ADHD Awareness Week

I received an email earlier this week announcing this week was "ADHD awareness week". The email encouraged me to "celebrate my ADHD and find someone to educate about ADHD". As I was reading this email I was driving down the interstate at warp speed because I was late. Not late because I overslept..late because as I woke up so early that I just knew I had plenty of time to edit that paper before leaving, check my email, and load the dishwasher...turns out I didn't, and then I couldn't find my keys....

Celebrate my ADHD. I almost laughed, well...that shouldn't be too difficult.

I told my oldest daughter, C (who is also ADHD) and she responded...are we supposed to wear a ribbon? you know, if I celebrate my ADHD at school....the principle might call you....Nevermind. This sent me into a deep thought process....do we have a ribbon? if we did have a ribbon, could we commit long-term to a color? Would people know what the ribbon was for? If I wore the ribbon would I get those tilted heads that said "oh..I am so sorry, that must be so difficult"?

Turns out...us ADHD people are represented by a color--the color orange. Why orange? Beats me.
Orange is the color of construction zones, prison jump suits, and caution flags. The ribbon is shared with animal protection awareness and self-injury awareness among others. According to google search for the meaning of the color of orange it means: vitality with endurance and the color stimulates appetite and energy....hmmm...interesting.

So in honor of those ADHD brains out there...here's to you: (and for those of you who are not ADHD...read and be amazed....)

*Huh? or I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.... are frequent phrases you say
* you really hate talking on the phone because it is way to easy for you to lose the conversation and to actually listen takes too much effort
* you get out of the shower and you aren't sure if you actually washed your hair
* you make a phone call...and before the other person answers...you forget who your calling and why
* you show up at your doctor's appointment on time (you are so proud)---only for the receptionist to tell you the appointment is tomorrow...or worse it was yesterday and you missed it
* You write post-it notes...and you loose post-it notes.
* Your kid asks for juice or a snack three times before they give up and gets it themselves. In your defense...you have walked into the kitchen all 3 times to get what they want---only to forget why you are in there and turn around and leave
* You sit in your college class, listening to your professor and find yourself counting how many times he/she says "okay"--literally keeping count on your paper instead of taking notes
* You are talking to your spouse, parent, friend and right in the middle of your sentence you just.................
* Your drying machine makes the same sound every time it finishes drying...and every time you think, "ice cream truck!"
* The very nature of housework goes against every fiber of your entire being...but you operate best when everything has its place---ironic
*Even though your diagnosed ADHD...you secretly think that it's everyone else who is a little "off"---I mean really, who wants to be "normal"?
* You feel like you embody irony in every sense of the word: you are outgoing--yet shy, you are a risk taker--yet insecure, you talk too much---but don't say nearly everything on your mind (for fear of what people would say), you have huge dreams---but details drag you down
* You think in terms of linked thoughts...one thought leading you to another...to another...to another...and none of them are particularly related...except for that one word
* There is a person that you see frequently and for the life of you--you can't remember their name...so you wait for someone else to call it and you just avoid it calling it until then. (ADHDers...you know you do this)

I could go on...but I will save it for another post. Just know, although I don't have a ribbon...I am letting my ADHD flag fly with pride. And for those who aren't ADHD...yeah...we think we're cooler than you.

banana boxes, bubble wrap, and life lessons.....

I think, at times, that the life lessons that mean the most come from the most unexpected places, at the most unprepared moments. This weekend, amidst the hauling and lugging, pulling and pushing, the cleaning and organizing, money spent and time sacrificed..behind a stack of banana boxes and bubble wrap I was reminded of a few lessons.

First, I was reminded that family isn't defined by blood lines. Family are those people in your world who seek to know your real heart. They are the people who are cheering the loudest...even when you are in last place. It is these people who count it pure joy to walk through life with you--the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Second, I was reminded that family is the first place we learn true humility. Where else are we given the pleasure of living amongst assumptions, misunderstandings, and opinions and then given the challenge of loving the person in return?

Third, I was reminded that every person has their own process in life. It is a continual challenge for me to remember that processes are often slow and painful, rarely immediate, and subject to change per individual.

Finally, I was reminded that when it comes to family...I am richly blessed. I am proud of where I have come from. I watched this weekend as friends and family alike gathered to do a less than desirable chore and I found myself taken by the amount of blessings surrounding me. Laughter, sweat, a few tears, and hard work...all for what? Because one of ours needed help. Yes, I can say I am proud of where I come from. And looking ahead to the family I became a part of when I married...I am proud of where I am going.

These people that I am proud to call family (no blood line required)--they are extensions of God's heart in my world. They challenge me, make me laugh, make me cry, and I know from experience...when life crashes in on us and it gets too hard to walk...they have been known to carry us until we regain strength. These individuals expect greatness, they demand character and integrity and they only know how to love sacrificially. They have taught me that humility isn't in naming your faults--it is in giving of yourself.

Tonight, I am humbled that God would give me such an amazing blessing as these people in my life. I am overwhelmed at knowing that these people don't just love my little family...they thank God for us. I am moved to tears to know that when I lay down to sleep tonight, God has blessed me with people that are willing to walk this crazy, upside down, sometimes backwards, chaotic, always full life!

Who am I to be given such a gift?