Buried Treasure

Chris came home some time ago to a huge hole dug in our backyard. Now, the history of our backyard is important here....we've been trying to make grass grow since we built the house. The size of the hole was big enough for Chris to crawl into and sit down. This is the scene that followed: 

Chris (looking out the back window): "Baaabee!! Why is there a hole in our backyard?!?"

Me: "What? I don't know."

Chris: "Was someone in our backyard?!"

Me: "No, not that I know of...."

Chris opens the back door and walks outside....his yard shovel is laying next to the hole. A few minutes later me, Chloe, and Ava join him. With all four of us standing around looking down at the hole, I notice the girls making eyes at one another...almost as if to say, "we aren't saying anything..." 

Me: "Girls, do you know about this hole?!" 

Ava: silent, looks at Chloe....Chloe shakes her head

Chris: "okay girls...what happened"

Chloe (with an extreme sense of urgency and speed in her voice): "Before you get mad, there might be treasure down there and we won't know unless we look for it" 

Ava: "We were playing pirates" 

Chloe: "Or, or, or, there could be dinosaur bones down there. Mama! How will know unless we look?!" 

Chris: "So you took my yard shovel and dug a hole in the backyard, to look for buried treasure or dinosaur bones" 

Chloe & Ava: "Yep, but we didn't find any" 

Ava: "Yeah, and then we got tired so we just came inside." 

Me: laughing hysterically

One day...when these two girls win the nobel peace prize for some extraordinary discovery, they will totally say it all started looking for buried treasure and dinosaur bones in the backyard. 

And that daddy helped them fill in the hole they dug. 

The F Word

It has been forever since I sat down to write. Given the major memories we have had recently (my graduation, applying to Grad school, summer time with my kids, etc.) I wish I had a life-altering, philosophical writing to offer you.

I got nothin'.

Instead, I am gracing your presence with a phase my child is going through.....replacing every possible verb with the F word. Yep, the F word. The worst thing is that every time she says it, her sister laughs hysterically while I go into a hysterical fit as why it is inappropriate and disgusting. It is inappropriate, disgusting and I'm certain my disapproval only makes it more appealing.

Fart. It is a disgusting word. And it has become Chloe's word for everything.

In the backseat of the car, she will sing songs replacing appropriate verbs with the word Fart...."I fart those days as they go by, oh, nothing sweeter than fart time"

When she is frustrated you will hear her say, "FART!"

When she's happy...she will repeat over and over, "oh yeah, fart!" "oh, yeah, fart!"

She has discovered a way to irritate the ever-loving hell out of me and she is using it.

As we are driving home from the dentist today, I am listening to my beautiful, amazing, wonderful daughter sing....her voice so sweet. And then she starts, "oh yeah...fart....fart....fart". The wonder and beauty fly out the window and I resist the urge of climbing in the backseat. Mean time, Ava is laughing so hard, she's crying.

I am ready for this stage to pass.

Conversations with Chloe

Sometime ago, while riding in the car just me and Chloe, Chloe popped the question. Mommy, how do babies get in your tummy? She wasn't done...I mean, do you just pray and ask God and then he just puts a baby in your tummy, like magic? 


I wanted to throw up. Acting like this is a normal, everyday question I showed zero fear...No babe, it takes a man and a woman to make a baby....


Yeah Mommy, I know that. So do you just pray together? Does God put the baby in your tummy while your asleep? 


Okay...so this has conversation has the potential of confusing her for a lifetime. I had to bite the bullet...and just do it. (no pun intended) Practicing my "I am not shocked, this is a normal-part-of-growing-up question face".....

Me: No, not exactly, God designed our bodies to fit together to make a baby. 
Chloe: umm...what parts exactly? 
Me: well, your private parts....
Chloe: She interrupted me....okay, that's enough. That sounds gross and complicated. (I thought..actually, it can be...)


That was it. She moved on. Thank God!

Yesterday, while cleaning the playroom she revisited the conversation simultaneously asking questions and working it out in her mind.....Mommy, how does it work to make a baby? If it takes a husband and wife to make a baby, how come I have friends that only have a mommy? How did their mommy make them? And Mommy...you just fit together and then you make a baby--so mommy's and daddy say I want a baby and that's what they do? So is that what you and daddy did to make me and Ava? You only did that twice right? 


I am pretty sure I stopped breathing.

Me: um, well babe...you asked a lot of questions, let's see if we can answer each of them....
Chloe: Mommy? 
Me: Yes, love? (inside I was thinking: act normal, act normal, act normal)
Chloe: How come Pluto isn't a planet anymore? 



Okay parents, what conversations have you had with your kids that have stopped you in your tracks? I would love to know how you answered these questions! 

Ava

This week I am home with Ava. She had her tonsils and adenoids taken out on Dec. 28th and her post-op orders are to stay home and drink fluids. She is doing well. She gets an extra week of Christmas vacation, so she is super excited about that.

I started this week with gusto, thinking I was going to accomplish grand things. I had a list organized by the importance of the task.

Let's just say....I am a tad bit distracted....

Instead of tackling my to-do list...I have constructed a town of littlest pet shops and dressed polly pockets....

Turns out...my to-do list can wait.....

superwoman is a myth.....right?

I am sitting at my computer, getting ready to study for finals. I look around and the laundry is mounting up, the floor needs to be mopped, Christmas tree has lights--I haven't gotten around to the decorations yet. Things are tossed around, evidence of a family in a hurry. 

Sometimes I wonder if Superwoman really exists. As little girls we are told we can do everything and anything...but they don't tell us how hard it is going to be to do it all. My family helps--everyone pitches in. But still, that balance...that zen....everything has its place, every place has its thing--its non existent. No matter how liberated I feel I am as a woman, something inside me cringes when I see my husband searching through the endless laundry basket looking for a matching sock, or my daughter reminds me that I forgot to pack her a snack for school....again. 

They never tell you about the struggle of balance. The constant give and take, that somethings take a lower priority--like folding laundry Monday through Friday. I remember growing up my mom would have the house clean and her makeup on fresh before dad got home. That makes me laugh just thinking about it.....seriously? The scene now is shuffling kids from car to car, trying to make it to ballet from gymnastics carrying my work bag with reviews to work through outside the dance studio while he is at home working through second grade homework and starting dinner. Survival is the name of the game, and in this world it takes two. 

So if I know that working in tandem with my guy is the best case scenario--the closest idea of perfection that one can get to in this world--why do I feel so guilty that my house is trashed and I am holed up in my office working? I feel almost as if history has warped the view of femininity and this generation of women who seek to do it all and be it all are trying desperately to unravel what was tangled before us. Our grandmothers were stay-at home mom's and perfect housewives--our mothers were working mom's with latchkey kids, and we are somewhere in between--trying to mold the two scenes into reality. Does it exist--The perfect homeroom mom, whose house is clean, car is clean, life is organized, laundry folded and put away, whose career is skyrocketing pass the glass ceiling, and whose family life is well-functioning? 

..........Does superwoman exist?