Routinely, the answer I get in return is..."not yet".
Not fair. Three more finals to go and my neurons are already moving on to the next big adventure. I am over this semester.
This morning in the shower I was contemplating this trait of mine...to be over a task before the task is over...(no judging, yes, I do all of my best thinking in the shower, I don't have a good reason why--so if I ever say, "This morning I was in the shower, and I thought of you..."--don't get excited...its just quiet and I was probably making my shopping list at the same time....moving right along...
So back to this issue of mine. Inpatient? Maybe. Short attention span? Probably. Bored? Most definitely.
My thoughts wound their way around till I got to this place...it is in these moments that God reminds me that I am just not there yet. In these moments God reminds me it is process and accomplishments, both professional and spiritual, are made in small moments.
UGH. yep. that's my response. at least initially it was. a big huge fat...UUGH. in response to my God given revelation (just being honest).
With shampoo in my hair my brain kept firing away at this question...is it normal to be over a task before the task is over? I rolled this question around in my head. By this time my daughter has her nose pushed against the shower door saying, "good morning mama! I can see you!" This announcement shook me back to reality, although I was still pouting.
"but I want to be there!" my soul whined, complete with a foot stomp...."not yet" God replied. I was considering a full out temper tantrum when...
like a sound of the hallelujah chorus in my bathroom, the question bounced around my skull..."once I am there, will I be there? will I be done?"
I wanted to hop out of the shower and run into the kitchen and announce my revelation...but alas, I was still standing there with soap in my hair because I had gotten sidetracked...the story of my life. So I rinsed and finished up and got out of the shower content with my answer.
Simply put, "no"....I am not there yet. Because moments like this all I can see is the end of my semester and the dreams that only exist in my minds eye...but when I finish this semester, there will be another one. And when I finish that one, graduate school awaits me. And when I finish that....the adventure continues. The point my brain rested on was this...."no, when I get there, I will not be there. I will not be done because there will be another destination behind it."
So, with that....I will keep on...because, quite frankly: I am just not there yet. In so many areas.
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